Happy Valentine’s Day, babe. Please undo this horrifying curse.
hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital
why do teenage boys care about if a girl is a virgin or not like are you that eager to be the first to disappoint me
straight allies are so brave. how do they manage to reach out and kiss their own ass on a daily basis without breaking any bones. amazing.
and I think to myself
what a wonderful world
lOOK AT HiS LIL EXCITED FACE DOTN TOCIUGH ME
the fuck outta here
'i'll just have one more scoop'
one time i was laughing with my sister and i said haha hokey pokey is kinda like sex. in out in out shake it all about. and she just looked at me dead in the eyes and ‘you put your right leg in’
blow me like a nintendo 64 game cartridge that isnt working
*cheats on diet* *gets a divorce from diet* *wins custody of diet’s children*