Procrastinators United

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

(via wrong-page)

meladoodle:

son… it’s about time we had a little chat about sex.. well i actually need a few tips, your mother is unsatisfied.. wait where are you going…

(via thetowndrugdealer)

Tea technique

anneapocalypse:

rosethouartsick:

1. Eat teabag.
2. Drink boiling water.
3. Smash cup on own face.

#go hard or go home

(Source: scumtrout, via tertail)

peetasfakeleg:

so i was having a driving lesson today and my instructor told me to be gentle with the gear stick and treat it like a lady and i said “im sorry i cant do that” and he said “oh youre a girl who likes it rough then” and i swear i almost crashed

(via gryffindor-heir)

burgrs:

*leans against swing set and sips caprisun* so do u come here often 

(via askinnyblackman)

rhydonmyhardon:

do you ever say something to someone that you felt was smooth and witty but like .4 seconds later reality punches you in the face and your vocal chords strangle themselves out of sheer embarassment

(via toflywithonesownwings)

joshishollywood:

sparklewench:

editorial design antics, pt. 2

this looks like a normal magazine spread right

well

if you look really closely on one of the melons i put a really tiny pterodactyl right in the middle

no one noticed

and they actually published it

now there are 2000 copies of this magazine featuring this tiny pterodactyl and i’m the one at fault

oh my god am i a horrible person or what

If I could live one day the way you live your entire life

(via superstylinson)